Journey: The Shame Purge

Journey: The Shame Purge

The Shame Purge

Core Competency: Healing Presence
A 5-phase journey to unhook from the hidden lies that trap your voice and keep your power hard to access.

This is for you if:

  • You find yourself judging your clients.
  • You’re easily triggered in your sessions.
  • You’re silencing yourself and unable to share your insights with your clients.
  • You’re doubting your healing work.
  • You feel stuuuuuuuuuck.

This is all of us at some point.
There is a solution. It’s fast. It’s effective. It’s also highly unpleasant.
It requires you to go find those highly cringey, you’d do anything rather than feel them or remember them, sticky-hot, poisonous shame memories that convince you that “if anybody knew this, I’d die”.

Ready? It’s time to get them out to the light. And let them crumble. (A bit like the little vampires they are.)

What you’ll need:

  • A piece of paper (or your journal)
  • A pen
  • A few quiet minutes
  • Willingness to feel something shift

The Practice (5 Steps)

  1. See Shame for What It Is
    A lie that starves you from connection, keeps your breath shallow, and has you turning away when healing needs you to stay.
  2. Pick One Story
    It doesn’t have to be the biggest or deepest. Just one that stings at the moment.
    A moment you hope no one brings up.
    Something that makes you flinch.

    Example prompts:
    “I can’t have X because…”
    “If someone knew Y, they’d leave…”
    “I hope no one ever finds out Z…”
    “If someone knew I lied about A (that test), they’d know I was B (a fraud) for sure…”

    Choose something that has a beginning, middle, and end. Something that actually happened. Keep it real—not just a vague bad feeling.
  3. Give It a Title
    Something short. Punchy. That captures the flavor of the shame.
    Naming it makes it lose some of its grip.
    Bonus points if it makes you laugh.
  4. Write It Out (For Nobody But You)
    Don’t filter. Don’t over-explain. Don’t therapize yourself.
    Just tell the story straight. Let your body say what happened.
  5. Move It, Burn It, Break the Spell
    Say aloud:
    This no longer holds power over me.

    If you like…
    Also: Shake. Dance. Sigh. Cry. Move the energy that came loose.
    Burn the paper (or rip it into tiny pieces).

How You’ll Know It Worked:

  • You feel a little looser
  • There’s more breath or sound in your body
  • Your thoughts are softer
  • You may even laugh—or find yourself telling the story one day, with way less charge

Gentle Teaching

Shame doesn’t do well in the light.

The ultimate shame busting thing is confessing it to a trusted person. Someone who can listen without judgment, and perhaps even offer a “me too!”…

…but that doesn’t mean it needs a stage to be released every time.

One winter, I wrote down every single shame story I could think of. Every time I felt hot and sticky and so cringey. Yet, over time, I noticed my voice was fuller, my stories connecting more, my leadership much more potent, my relationships deeper.

Having done this full-force, I promise you: You won’t die.

See the shame for what it is: a disconnection engineer.

Reclaim yourself.

Defy the shame story. Write those stories. Let them come to the light.
You don’t need to wait for someone else to witness it.

Optional: Practitioner Notes

Shame underlies almost all the blockages.
Making yourself a safe presence by de-shaming yourself is one of the biggest gifts.

It’ll make itself felt in the field you build, even if you never say a thing out loud.

When your client is ready to share one of their shame-stories, you’ll be ready, and able to stay present.